turkey trot 2009: kate RUNS.

holy jesus. i am so tired!

Woke up at 5am (because I fail) and soon after, headed down to the OC for the Dana Point Turkey Trot! There were actually people dressed as turkeys, well, trotting. Good fun.

About a minute after I could actually move, I decided I was going to try and run. Yes, sprained foot/toe and all. Well, somehow despite sprained foot/toe and not having run more than 2 miles in about a YEAR, I managed about an 11 minute pace for the whole 5k. I am super proud of m'self for having forced myself to run. I wanted to be going at about an 8 minute pace, but I can't fuck my foot up while it's still fucked up. That wouldn't be a good choice, and overdoing it is where I go wrong anyway.

Absolutely BEAUTIFUL by the harbor at 8 in the morning. PERFECT running weather like whoa for the first two miles of the race. Then it was like 80 outside and I felt gross and not in the mood to run.

Ate a shit ton of orange slices at the finish, saw a yorkshire terrier wearing a turkey costume-- CUTEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN OTHER THAN A BABY SQUIRREL-- around all the swag booths, a wirehaired pit bull (somehow way adorable), and stocked up on as much of these free myoplex drinks as I could fit in my bag.

Just opened my goodie bag/backpack (they don't give shitty plastic bags anymore, they give nylon backpacks) and found granola crisps, a gigantic small tshirt, individually packed wet wipe (haha somehow funny to me), "corn thins" like gross rice cake looking things only with corn, and this absolutely VILE drink called gotein.

Many moons ago, my parents dragged a very reluctant younger me to a bazillion races around southern california, and so i walked them with my mother while my father ran them. This was the first race I've ever run so I'm excited. Everything still hurts... blegh.

Walked brother's dog for another 50 minutes later in the afternoon, and also another two or so miles to and from the car this morning at the race. I'm beat!

I think it's pie time....

happy thanksgiving!!!

introspection? not totally

I know it was only one job interview, but in the past 14 months, I have only had 3 job interviews, and have yet to get a job, so you might be able to understand my... well, despair. I know despair is a pretty dramatic word, but I actually (why am I even admitting this....) cried a little bit when I read the email because I was so angry. I usually only cry if I'm angry. Those guys already had jobs. I know life isn't fair, and that I preach all the time about being hopeful and all of that but... I'm incredibly bummed. It just continuously drives the hammer into my brain that the world feels like it's crashing down around me. I try to think good thoughts, I really do. It isn't just "oh I want money".. no it's that I really truly need the money. I can't take any breaks from school because I'm up to my ears in student loan debt that keeps accumulating massive amounts of interest. I have credit card debt now because of buying myself running shoes last february and christmas presents and then having all of my hours cut at work until there wasn't a paycheck anymore to pay off the debt while it was still low.

It really makes me upset that our government won't stand up for education, for health. We shouldn't be worried about health insurance, we should be promoting wellness and exercise. We should be fighting for education to be up to standard with the rest of the "first world" countries in that it's paid for by the government, and that k-12 isn't choppy, leaving kids out or complete shit to begin with.

It just depresses me.

I think about my major goals in life- to have a home, to own a very nice car, and a stable living.

Have you noticed that eating healthy is more expensive? They closed a Baja Fresh near my house and are putting in a Bobs Big Boy. Baja Fresh wasn't exactly the healthiest but it is much better than a burger joint.

50% of the children in Mississippi have a BMI of 50. Which means that they're 50% body fat. The lowest number in the country is still about 24%. The lowest? That is just shameful.

It may be cheesy as anything, but shows like Dancing With The Stars and The Biggest Loser at least promote health (despite all the hysterical breakdowns lol).

Obama needs to grow a pair, quit smoking cigarettes, and stop trying to appease EVERYONE. You can't be everyone's favorite, it just isn't possible. I didn't like Dubya, but damn it he didn't care if someone liked what he did! He did it anyway!

People like me can't go to school beecause schools are having budget cuts and class size decreases, which means they can't get an education to get a job so they never get out of the seventh circle of hell. Take action, damn it! Show us that you care. Promote wellness and education and family, not greed and burgers.


I want to open my eyes and see that this has all been a nightmare.

screw bella and jacob, i liked the Porsche.

ahahaha because I'm a complete and total loser, I went to see New Moon this morning with a friend, and my mother (who has also read the books and hearts them). Okay, the director and screenwriter had like a bazillion pages of bitching and crying and obsession and somehow the movie turned out pretty well. Like, as far as the directing and special effects, it was cool. The special effects were neato, and the music was entertaining. My favorite parts were: the bit with the Thom Yorke song "Hearing Damage" playing loudly, and the bit with the Porsche 911 Turbo. Go figure. My favorite part would predictably be the bit with a nice car. It sounds totally lame, but I was so excited when they had the 911 driving around curves in Italy. I really envy the stunt driver of the scene because omg..... it's a fucking 911 Turbo. I mean, really, do I need to say more? I started grinning like an idiot. The whole movie could have been a stuntman driving the car through pretty flowering hills and golden fields and I would have walked out of the theatre feeling like my time had not been wasted.

I. am. SUCH. a petrolhead!!!

The sound of the engine revving gave me chills. That is how much I love cars. I LOVE LOVE LOVE cars. I love watching, complaining, blogging, drooling, wanting... I love them.

But the movie was cool. The guy who plays Jacob can be pretty funny, in a dry sort of way. Plus from what someone told me, he and I share a birthday (hes only around 18), which is cool. Aquariuses(?) unite!! Christian Bale is an Aquarius, so yeah.

off to check on my vegetables that happen to be roasting.... au revoir.

cheers.

note to the douchebags of the world

I'm upset with the laziness of people not fighting to make the financial monsters of the world change. I don't know what else more I can do except tell people to cut up their credit cards. People are too goddamn passive though, even with their words. They just say "oh well" and don't even discuss it. No, we HAVE to have that discussion now. The President must have that conversation, and CEOs of these fucking banks and mega conglomerate douches do not need, nor can they ever use, the amount of money that they receive. Shame on all of you. At least Warren Buffett does a lot of good with his money and he isn't holding on to it like he's going to live longer somehow if he has it. GET OVER IT, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE. This life is suffering anyway. Having nice things is great, but Jesus effing Christ, you do not need $3 billion dollars a year.

Note to athletes, CEOs, etc: Money cannot buy you a soul, which you fuckers have inevitably lost somewhere along the path of your great destruction of the lives of the average citizen by being so disgustingly greedy.


Off to enjoy my evening...

cheers.

stop hating single people

My lack of voice (stupid laryngitis) is making me want to talk online more. Not that it's neccesary, but when is it ever?

Trying to deal with the fact that I know I will probably never be in a romantic relationship with someone, ever. I don't think there's anyone out there who I want to put up with, and who will also put up with my baggage/neuroses/expensive taste. Trying to deal with that in my head, work around it and just accept that my family and friends will be enough. The awkwardness of being in social situations as a single person is already annoying. It's gotten worse as I've hit my early adult years. Somehow it seems as if others perceive me as not a viable speck of humanity if I'm not out fucking someone. And it does come down to that, however crude I may have phrased it. It's like in that movie, When Harry Met Sally. THat's what Sally says to Harry towards the end of the movie, that it'll prove something if she's out fucking someone.

I think I have more value than that, thanks. I'm comfortable not being in a relationship. My relationship is my schoolwork (which at the pace I'm going, will be a long one by the time I get my masters and PhD) and the other things in my life. It's the goal of paying off my student loans and having my own place and a nice car. If I someday decide that children need to be part of the equation, then I'll adopt. There are plenty of children out there that have great need of parents.

So all you people out there who unknowingly treat single people differently, you can just suck it.

thoughts??

cheers.

injustice

GCC doesn't observe holidays apparently. Even at PCC we got like two random days off. Blehhhhhh.

And now a word about a topic that was brought up in my geography class: ottoman (not turkish) attrocities, and the current reaction.

My problem with all of it? You have to move on. It isn't good to hold on to such anger and pain for more than a few days, but let alone passing that anger to your children and grandchildren until almost 100 years goes by and you STILL consider that you're in a crisis. Wrong. You aren't. I understand that shit realllllly sucks sometimes. I could go hating so many for personal injustice I've suffered, but... I forgive people. It's hard, but I figure that I don't need all that bad energy around my heart.

So yes, I GET that the Ottoman empire was fucked up and killed a whole lot of people. I think it's disgusting, and I think that the new Turkish government should acknowledge it. But I don't think they know how to, with everyone breathing down their necks. People don't want to do things when you force them to. They have to think its their idea. And no its not an excuse for them, I agree. But god... holding on to all of it for this long on both sides is stupid. Especially the people who feel that an apology is due. You have to stop saying you're still in a diaspora. NO you aren't. A lot of you are fucking crazy wealthy and you're second generation americans who drive Audis. Um, sorry, but living in Glendale and driving a $60 thousand dollar car completely exempts you from that. I encourage you to find peace within your heart because really, even if someone admits to their wrongdoing, you have to be the one to forgive. And let go.

It isn't good for your heart, for your soul... to hold onto such anger for so long. And then instilling it in your children? The real way to go would be to be the bigger man and put your head up high and just move on. Don't even mention it. Because then it shows that you're strong, because you are. You lived through it and moved forward, just not emotionally.

I still haven't heard an apology to the Native peoples of North & South America for the three hundred some years of slaughter that the Europeans inflicted on them. I'm pissed that the American government ignores what they did to my relatives, the Cherokee back in the day, however distantly related I am. But you know... you can't hold onto the anger. Show that you're strong instead.

This wasn't super coherent, and I apologize for that. I feel like crap so yeah. Off to get ready for school..

cheers.

okay then

I have laryngitis and I'm watching "The Reader." I'll pretty much watch anything with Ralph Fiennes, except for Schindler's List. That movie just makes me sick to my stomach.

And since I'm thinking about Germany now... I'm planning to go to Deutschland sometime next year (hopefully). I want to go during Christmas, but since my mom can't get the time off and I want to go with her, I'm hoping that early December might work out. *crosses fingers*

This movie is totally amazing, by the way. Watch it if you haven't.

Also, I'm becoming a Buddhist.

okay back to my movie, and to my dinner.