introspection? not totally

I know it was only one job interview, but in the past 14 months, I have only had 3 job interviews, and have yet to get a job, so you might be able to understand my... well, despair. I know despair is a pretty dramatic word, but I actually (why am I even admitting this....) cried a little bit when I read the email because I was so angry. I usually only cry if I'm angry. Those guys already had jobs. I know life isn't fair, and that I preach all the time about being hopeful and all of that but... I'm incredibly bummed. It just continuously drives the hammer into my brain that the world feels like it's crashing down around me. I try to think good thoughts, I really do. It isn't just "oh I want money".. no it's that I really truly need the money. I can't take any breaks from school because I'm up to my ears in student loan debt that keeps accumulating massive amounts of interest. I have credit card debt now because of buying myself running shoes last february and christmas presents and then having all of my hours cut at work until there wasn't a paycheck anymore to pay off the debt while it was still low.

It really makes me upset that our government won't stand up for education, for health. We shouldn't be worried about health insurance, we should be promoting wellness and exercise. We should be fighting for education to be up to standard with the rest of the "first world" countries in that it's paid for by the government, and that k-12 isn't choppy, leaving kids out or complete shit to begin with.

It just depresses me.

I think about my major goals in life- to have a home, to own a very nice car, and a stable living.

Have you noticed that eating healthy is more expensive? They closed a Baja Fresh near my house and are putting in a Bobs Big Boy. Baja Fresh wasn't exactly the healthiest but it is much better than a burger joint.

50% of the children in Mississippi have a BMI of 50. Which means that they're 50% body fat. The lowest number in the country is still about 24%. The lowest? That is just shameful.

It may be cheesy as anything, but shows like Dancing With The Stars and The Biggest Loser at least promote health (despite all the hysterical breakdowns lol).

Obama needs to grow a pair, quit smoking cigarettes, and stop trying to appease EVERYONE. You can't be everyone's favorite, it just isn't possible. I didn't like Dubya, but damn it he didn't care if someone liked what he did! He did it anyway!

People like me can't go to school beecause schools are having budget cuts and class size decreases, which means they can't get an education to get a job so they never get out of the seventh circle of hell. Take action, damn it! Show us that you care. Promote wellness and education and family, not greed and burgers.


I want to open my eyes and see that this has all been a nightmare.