Killing time. So tired. Too many hours. Not enough. Would spend them all with people I care about if I could. Need to stop living in the 'what if' or the 'if i could' mindset. But thinking about the future is sometimes the only way I can make it through today. How do you not live with regret? Even if you know it's stupid and pointless. How? Gosh. I tend to over analyze everything. It's what I do. Wish my brain would just chill for a bit so I could enjoy just breathing. I'm afraid if I stop I won't be able to start again. Too busy to stop. Broken sentences. Vivid dreams are so amazing until you wake up and you are so incredibly sad that it wasn't real. Maybe that's why I'm so tired all of the time..? Because when you sleep, isn't your brain supposed to be decompressing? Yeah I don't think mine does. Oatmeal for dinner. Still hungry. fuck.